Cut the Deck

So I have a fun exercise for you. Do you ever get the feeling that your life doesn’t have any direction? You have lots of ideas about things you’d like to do but never seem to get around to doing any of them. You’re just working and doing all the things that everyone else does. I know that my life is often this way. Even making lists, which I do obsessively just leaves you with a pile of lists that starts to look incredibly daunting.

Well my solution was to take a lesson from George W. Bush and pick up a deck of cards.

Do you remember the invasion of Iraq? I remember marching with a few million other people in London, England against the prospect of war. Then it happened anyway. But one of the fun aspects of the war (the only one and the one experienced by those not being bombed like me) was the creativity of the opposition to the war.

To distinguish between all the various, evil moustached Iraqis in the Baath Party, Bush (though I know he didn’t think of it) released a deck of cards featuring the hierarchy of evil, right up to the Ace of Spades himself, Saddam Hussein. But they were all there from Chemical Ali to that crazy Ministry of Information guy. What fun! Now the American soldiers knew who to shoot though they clearly didn’t always get it right.

So someone, creatively, thought that if a deck was good enough for one evil regime that it should work for another: the West. So George Bush, Tony Blair, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, and Tommy Franks all found themselves under spades, diamonds, clubs and hearts. Turn about is fair play as they say.


On my way to Cape Breton I started putting together my own deck of cards. I brainstormed all the things that I wanted to learn and do out here. It was a wonderful activity actually and has helped me to focus on some things. I even rated them in terms of their degree of difficulty (or what I presumed was their degree of difficulty—cutting down a tree with a chainsaw, it turns out, isn’t that hard). I made the different decks stand for different things: 1) Spades was building things, 2) Hearts were community and personal growth, 3) Clubs were making clothes and other crafts, and 4) Diamonds were food.


I won’t give away the whole deck now but I’m on my way actually with a lot of the cards. I did cut down a tree for firewood (don’t worry it was dead-standing though I’ll likely cut down a few live hardwood trees this year). I am making beer. I’m almost done tanning a hide and shortly thereafter I plan to make moccasins. Dan and I plan to build a greenhouse out of windows this week (if it will stop snowing). And there’s a lot more there. Some of them, I’ll probably never get around to doing for a lack of funds such as building a wind turbine or an earthship but you have to have dream right.

I should probably explain how I did it just in case. Just take any old deck. Make the proper sized labels to cover your card (not the numbers and symbols in the corners) and print them. Then just draw pictures on each of them. The best part of all this is that I don’t consider myself much of an artist but I just drew each and every card and didn’t start over once. That’s probably a sign that it was the right thing to do.

So write down your dreams and make them happen!

On Unemployment

Didn't get the job.

I'm not devastated by the news. I guess that it wasn't meant to be. I think I approach lots of things in life with that attitude. If I'm dumped by someone, then it wasn't meant to be. If I don't get the job. If I don't catch the train or bus. No sweat really. It just means that your path will change a little bit. Maybe you'll meet someone new. Maybe you'll find another even more amazing job.

But the problem with that attitude is that I end up capitulating in lots of cases. That's really unfortunate. Like I have no agency in my own life. Like I can't take the bull by the horns and make things work. But if I do and on occasion I do, it never feels right. I guess if a relationship was going to work it would work. If a job was mine, it would be mine. I can't shake this feeling that really you just have to take what comes. That's not a very North American position is it?

There's a word in Arabic, Inshallah. The translation is roughly "god willing". Basically you just give away all your power to God and accept that you have no power over your own life. Hmm, not sure how I feel about that one. But then I'm not a Muslim.

So I might end up calling and seeing about a job at the Eco Centre in Whycocomagh. Though I'm definitely not into full-time work which I fear it would be. I should give them a call at least and see what they get up to there. I think there are some good possibilities.

--

On a similar note, I was thinking how so few of the people I know are impacted by this so-called recession. I talked to an old friend about this the other day. We know almost no one who is being hurt by the recession. All our well-educated friends are still pulling in their nice salaries selling knowledge. Students are still at university (compiling debt but what else is new).

Then today I talked with a friend who has been out of work since November. He has a mortgage. He has a large, hungry dog. He has a vehicle. Things are tough for him. He worked for the now defunct Hamilton Steel/Stelco. There doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel for him. He's looking for anything to help pay his way.

So now I have a personal connection to the sadness being caused by this recession. And the longer primary producers like my friend stay out of work the more the foundation of the economy will crumble for those knowledge sector folks above them. You can't eat knowledge and you can't drive knowledge after all. Though so many people produce it, from professors to bureaucrats to bloggers (yes even me).

Might be a good time to start being a primary producer even if that means just growing a small garden.

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In other news in our small attempt to prop up the global economy (all hail), today and yesterday we borrowed a truck that a local dealer had found for us. It was a 2003 Mazda B3000. It was pretty nice, really exactly what we were looking for but thankfully we were subjected to carrying a full load of people and bags without a box cover. It was a pretty clear lesson. So we decided that the truck was in the end a crazy idea. It would be useful, sure but really how much would we use it to haul stuff? And I'm not sure how much mum wants to be cramped in the back and climbing in and out and how much I want to subject her to that.

So we're thinking of getting a hitch and trailer to be pulled by a spirited little car like a Toyota Corolla. Corollas are so amazingly good on gas it's unbelievable. 5.3 litres per 100 kilometres on the highway. That's $5 to go 100 kilometres. And if we needed the trailer we could hook it up quickly enough. So sanity prevails for another day.

But is driving sane?

Boy, I've really changed a lot since last year, haven't I? I spend ages online reading about vehicles and towing capacity and fuel efficiency. Am I being sucked back in to the consumer life? I think I've never really gotten out. I've just changed what I'm buying. No more meals at B+T or cases of beer and bottles of wine and thrift store shopping. Now it's house insurance, lumber and used vehicles. I must be spending more as Rural Oom but maybe on balance I'm not.

But it has been a shift. To, really for all intents and purposes, owning a house and owning a vehicle from renting and biking. It's a lot to think about and worry about. I'm also stuck here in lots of ways tied to the land. I think I'm coping.

The Buffet is Open

As part of the "processing" of the seals, Dan has been dumping bits of fat across the road by the brook. Very wisely, for Buddy's sake, he took it reasonably far away. I am really afraid of Buddy meeting a coyote and meeting his untimely end. So the less tasty treats around outside the front door the better.

So for the past week, we've been visited by various visitors looking for a free lunch. No I'm not talking about WWOOFers. At night I've heard what are probably coyotes paying a visit and during the day there have been murders of crows everywhere cruising above our house.

But most magically, for a guy from industrial Ontario, there have been bald eagles. I remember being in Edmonton this summer and going to Jasper National Park and hoping to see a bald eagle. I saw one but it was a kilometre away. I would have never thought that in Cape Breton bald eagles would be as common as, well, crows. Seriously, if we go to Mabou, it's normal to see a bald eagle fly over our car. And most amazingly, when the buffet table was opened last week, a bald eagle was perched in the tree outside our front door. I'm sorry, I didn't get a picture. I almost did. Shit I wish you could have seen it.

Big birds. Now I have another Buddy predator to worry about.

Two Minds

When I think about it, I'm reminded of the lyrics of a Silver Mount Zion song: "Let's kill first the bankers, with their professional demeanour". I think the song, if you want to seek it out, it's pretty great, is called Movie Never Made.

So what reminds me of this lyric: applying for a casual teller position at the local credit union. Essentially I'd fill in for tellers when they were on holiday or sick and be on call. Had the interview today and it went pretty well. Clearly, as my mind keeps going back to this lyric, I'm of two minds about this "opportunity".

On the one side, I'd make a bit of money. All I need is a bit of money to cover some of the things that I doubt I could barter vegetables or my labour for such as property taxes, insurance, gasoline, electricity. And chocolate, while it lasts. Unless I want the cops to pay me a visit I have to have the money to pay the state for the privilege of being here.

With this job, I'd also get a chance to meet people since pretty much everyone has an account at the credit union since it's (happily) the only game in town. Might help me to figure out where all the young people are hiding (Alberta). Meeting people in ways that don't involve dancing are essential since I have two left feet and am not inclined to lead.

And I love credit unions and it's hard to find a moderately ethical job in a rural setting. So I wouldn't feel too bad going to work. It would be like working for the whole community and helping (since profits go back to the community) with various programs here. And I might even have a chance to help direct the funding away from silly philanthropy.

Best of all it's not full-time and it's not even part-time. I might work a maximum of three months in a year filling in for holidays. So I wouldn't have to sacrifice my freedom being here and jeopardize my ability to learn the skills that I need to learn for the days to come.

But really I don't want to sell my labour anymore. I probably shouldn't have even admitted to applying for this job, lest you call me a sellout. After all I've said about hating the system, here I am reentering it. And I certainly don't want to be a teller though I know I'd be good at it. I do enjoy helping people and being friendly. But I'd be sitting for eight hours a day. Hanging out by the water cooler. Shitting in a flush toilet; what a waste.

And for now, I'm financially comfortable enough to not have to work. It pays to buy a ton of dried beans and grains which you can eat over a year (I recommend it since it also provides a measure of food security). You'll never have to go to the grocery store again (almost). But I know that my credit union balance is only going down and that causes me no end of stress. So why not take steps now to at least slow the erosion of my imagined security?

So I'll let you know what happens with this job. Wish me luck?

The End of Vegetarianism

A tarp on our kitchen floor is a bloody mess. In the other room, as I type, a cleaver is being pounded into spinal columns. Copious fat renders in a large stainless steel pot and smells faintly of fish. Six or seven other carcasses are buried in a pile of snow outside, awaiting their time under the butcher's knife. Their hides await the removal of fat and the distant promise of waterproof clothing.

After a long wait, the seals have arrived.

Shocked? Most people are when seals are killed. It leads to strong feelings, yelling matches, boycotts, press releases. They are cute so killing them is wrong. The European Union is planning on banning all seal imports from Canada partly motivated by these reasons. Fair enough, Europe is far away and long ago they devastated and removed most aquatic mammals from their shores. With that track record, why let them do it to ours?

But cuteness is hardly a reason to ban hunts arbitrarily. Deer are beautiful, rabbits are cute, chicken have their moments, goats are characters, cows . . . well you can't win them all. But all these animals can be killed by the thousands if not in the case of chickens, billions. But if hunting an animal provides you with the things you need and you enter into a relationship with it, ensuring that its species survives so you may survive, then your hunt cannot be wrong. Zebras provide lions what they need to survive in east Africa. Seals provide polar bears with what they need in the arctic. Plankton must die so that whales can sing.

Humans are not very suited to their environments like lions, whales, plankton and seals. We live in cold places without a layer of winter fat (McDonald's fat doesn't count because sadly, it lasts all year). So we need a little more from our prey. We need to borrow their successful evolutionary adaptations such as warm skin and we can, smartly, make light from their oil. We're differently from most animals in that way, but still very much animals.

When you live in a place, and you really believe in eating locally and efficiently it's important to take stock of your potential sources of food. So if you live in India, rice and lentils make a lot of sense. If you live in Nunavut, caribou and, by the coast, seals and whales make sense. Indians shouldn't really eat seal and certainly Inuit wouldn't last long on beans and rice. And why, with all we know about climate change, would you expend energy to ship these products around the world when the earth already provides all you need where you live? Seriously.

And if you plan to leave behind a habitable home for your children, you'll probably make the most of the "natural resources" at your disposal. So only an idiot, and we are definitely idiots, would kill a shark and only take its fins for Chinese soups. This is so immoral, let alone wasteful, that I have no problem making a t-shirt that says: "Vote for human extinction".

But in the case of large mammals like seals, humans can make use of most of their bodies. Skins can, as mentioned, keep us warm and actually waterproof. Fat can nourish us and provide us with light. Meat, bones and marrow provide protein. Today I wondered if their whiskers could be used as a brush of some kind. I haven't thought of a use for their flippers yet--perhaps a windmill? In light of this, to kill them wantonly merely for their attractive fur is a crime worthy of the death penalty.

And efficiency is an important consideration. Ten seals may provide a group of three humans and one cat with enough food for one year when combined with other sources of food such as mushrooms, cultivated vegetables, perennials, deer, rabbit. Ten lives for three. This is the stuff of life. Think of the millions of plankton that feed one mighty whale or even the thousands of fish consumed by one seal. This is the way it works.

The best part is that seals take care of themselves. You don't have to do anything but hunt them and skin and butcher them maybe a few times a year. Whenever I see a cow, I wonder why we waste our time and energy on these animals.

For meat? Kill a deer or a seal and don't worry about antibiotics, cleaning out their pens, providing them with hay for winter, keeping their water from freezing in winter, building them a barn, birthing calves. 365 days a year. Maybe you don't raise it yourself but you support and believe in a system that does. Why would we waste our time on all this when the world provides us with an abundant source of meat in seals and deer and smaller mammals?

The only thing I can see is maybe milk is that great. But I've gotten by fine without it for close to ten years and I'm probably never going to let it touch my lips again for the rest of my life. Yuck!

So where do all these thoughts lead me? I'm still very much a vegetarian but I'm not blind. I can see the writing on the wall. Chickpeas come from Turkey. Quinoa comes from Saskatchewan. Rice comes from Asia. Avocados come from Mexico. Does this diet make sense knowing what I know about ecosystems and climate change? No, but old habits die hard. I'll probably not start by eating seal but they are an abundant wild food where I call home.

And clearly, as usual when I think about anything these days, I'm reminded that there are far too many humans on this planet. I'm making an argument for us being the top predator (not the civilized top predators that we currently make ourselves out to be) but if we are to accept that role we must accept all that comes with it including responsibility for the lives of those that sustain us and the vital importance of maintaining a reasonably small population.

Ugh, Buddy just caught a mouse and brought it upstairs. At least he's doing his job. Now if only he could lose the sadism and fucking kill it. If only he could read this post.

The Quiet Life

I've been asked a few times how I can stand living in the country, far from the excitement of a city. One friend told me he would go crazy in my shoes. My mum keeps saying how she's amazed that I'm still happy with my life in rural Cape Breton. But I am, by and large, happy and stimulated. I guess it's my personality to just accept things, let go of things, not have too high expectations. Maybe I'm lucky.

I think it's also my age. I think I'm looking to have some stability after close to a decade of wandering, moving house often, getting on airplanes and the rest. This stability shouldn't be equated with lots of possessions, which I've always avoided. Having said that I do find myself purchasing a lot more things than I ever did before. However, I'm trying to make sure they are all useful to me and my community. I'm just looking to finally build a home, deliberately and passionately.

And the promise of the summer to come keeps me happy too. This place is so beautiful now, I can't imagine how it will be in the summer. Then there's my allergies.

But let's talk about some projects. I'm making beer. Well actually I have very little to do with it. The yeast are making the beer. I bought a kit and mum helped me to mix everything together and seal it up in two of Dan's carboys (my carboy, found at a thrift store, is now full of Dan's apple or pear cider). I had to use two because they weren't large enough on their own to hold the amount, 23 litres that I was making. They are bubbling away under their air seals. I'm looking forward to drinking the beer in a few weeks; yes it's that fast. Kevin had a kit this summer and if I'd only known how straightforward it is, I would have pushed him to make it. It would have cut some of our beer costs at least.


Ultimately I want to be able to make beer from scratch. Make the malt, grow the hops (tall plants!). It's made with well water so that's nice. But if I can't do it myself or without the aid of a yeast package then it's probably unlikely to be a regular thing at our place. But if I think of hard cider or wine, I reaabout how easy it is in comparison to get the fermentation one desires. The yeast is already on the fruit when you mash it up into juice or cider. So you have your fermenting yeast already along for the ride, since many yeasts live in the air. So perhaps cider and wine are more realistic for someone who doesn't want to spend, and likely won't have the money to spend, on beer kits and yeast. Maybe beer will just be a treat.



And I finished my scarf this evening! I expect winter will hang on a bit longer so I'll have a chance to model it (and most importantly, keep warm) before next winter.