Two Minds

When I think about it, I'm reminded of the lyrics of a Silver Mount Zion song: "Let's kill first the bankers, with their professional demeanour". I think the song, if you want to seek it out, it's pretty great, is called Movie Never Made.

So what reminds me of this lyric: applying for a casual teller position at the local credit union. Essentially I'd fill in for tellers when they were on holiday or sick and be on call. Had the interview today and it went pretty well. Clearly, as my mind keeps going back to this lyric, I'm of two minds about this "opportunity".

On the one side, I'd make a bit of money. All I need is a bit of money to cover some of the things that I doubt I could barter vegetables or my labour for such as property taxes, insurance, gasoline, electricity. And chocolate, while it lasts. Unless I want the cops to pay me a visit I have to have the money to pay the state for the privilege of being here.

With this job, I'd also get a chance to meet people since pretty much everyone has an account at the credit union since it's (happily) the only game in town. Might help me to figure out where all the young people are hiding (Alberta). Meeting people in ways that don't involve dancing are essential since I have two left feet and am not inclined to lead.

And I love credit unions and it's hard to find a moderately ethical job in a rural setting. So I wouldn't feel too bad going to work. It would be like working for the whole community and helping (since profits go back to the community) with various programs here. And I might even have a chance to help direct the funding away from silly philanthropy.

Best of all it's not full-time and it's not even part-time. I might work a maximum of three months in a year filling in for holidays. So I wouldn't have to sacrifice my freedom being here and jeopardize my ability to learn the skills that I need to learn for the days to come.

But really I don't want to sell my labour anymore. I probably shouldn't have even admitted to applying for this job, lest you call me a sellout. After all I've said about hating the system, here I am reentering it. And I certainly don't want to be a teller though I know I'd be good at it. I do enjoy helping people and being friendly. But I'd be sitting for eight hours a day. Hanging out by the water cooler. Shitting in a flush toilet; what a waste.

And for now, I'm financially comfortable enough to not have to work. It pays to buy a ton of dried beans and grains which you can eat over a year (I recommend it since it also provides a measure of food security). You'll never have to go to the grocery store again (almost). But I know that my credit union balance is only going down and that causes me no end of stress. So why not take steps now to at least slow the erosion of my imagined security?

So I'll let you know what happens with this job. Wish me luck?