Nightly Grind

I'm grinding my teeth away. Kiss my famous smile goodbye. Every night I have no control. It's coming from somewhere inside me. I'm starting to realize what is causing it. I could just get a mouthguard but that's just like putting up a space mirror to fight climate change. Technology is not a solution to this problem.

And my problem is climate change. Our problem is climate change (maybe you should be grinding your teeth too). We're fucked if we don't do something quickly. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked!

And I don't see that our governments, our dear leaders are going to take action. The economy is the most important word in their vocabularies. So "expensive" climate action is trumped before it was ever considered. All I read makes me realize that they cannot take action. They cannot take action as long as our lifestyles are impacted. This is not just Canada by the way India and China also have lifestyles to ensure. And lifestyles can be translated as us having lots of possessions.

I have already accepted that I'm going to be digging in the dirt growing food, that I'm going to trap animals for food, that I'm going to wear animal skins and chop down trees for warmth, that a bath will be an annual treat, I'll never eat a tropical food, rarely drink alcohol. I'm not even pretending that I will have this computer to gaze into on a planet without human caused climate change. I don't want any of the frills of modern life because I know they will destroy the planet. But is anyone talking about this? No, not even the environmentalists that should know better.

So I don't even know how to start talking to people still living in the old paradigm. The one that will, if not destroy all life on earth, at least end the human species (not such a bad thing but not all humans deserve this fate). These people are so entrenched in this system I don't see how they can get out. How do you say: "You'd better learn to grow turnips if you're planning on having kids", or "Can you imagine, without machines, how much human energy would go into weaving that sweater that you bought for $20"? And what's the use of talk? People don't care. They are more worried about jobs and the immediate and I can't blame them for being in the present. It makes sense if you are really an animal.

Thus I grind my teeth. I know what I should do but I don't want to go there. I'm so conflicted. I love my life here. I love the clean air and the dark night under a million, billion bright stars. I love living how we all have to live (and I'm still hanging on to a lot of things that I know I shouldn't). I don't want to give this up and fight against my species.

So for now grinding will continue and just maybe I'll figure out what I have to do. I know already that Canada is working to sabotage the Copenhagen talks that might, just might save our species. Obviously if this comes to pass then Canada is my enemy, the enemy of life. We'll see after the conference is over. Then it's decision time, one that most people are hardly aware of and that's scary and depressing.