On Unemployment

Didn't get the job.

I'm not devastated by the news. I guess that it wasn't meant to be. I think I approach lots of things in life with that attitude. If I'm dumped by someone, then it wasn't meant to be. If I don't get the job. If I don't catch the train or bus. No sweat really. It just means that your path will change a little bit. Maybe you'll meet someone new. Maybe you'll find another even more amazing job.

But the problem with that attitude is that I end up capitulating in lots of cases. That's really unfortunate. Like I have no agency in my own life. Like I can't take the bull by the horns and make things work. But if I do and on occasion I do, it never feels right. I guess if a relationship was going to work it would work. If a job was mine, it would be mine. I can't shake this feeling that really you just have to take what comes. That's not a very North American position is it?

There's a word in Arabic, Inshallah. The translation is roughly "god willing". Basically you just give away all your power to God and accept that you have no power over your own life. Hmm, not sure how I feel about that one. But then I'm not a Muslim.

So I might end up calling and seeing about a job at the Eco Centre in Whycocomagh. Though I'm definitely not into full-time work which I fear it would be. I should give them a call at least and see what they get up to there. I think there are some good possibilities.

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On a similar note, I was thinking how so few of the people I know are impacted by this so-called recession. I talked to an old friend about this the other day. We know almost no one who is being hurt by the recession. All our well-educated friends are still pulling in their nice salaries selling knowledge. Students are still at university (compiling debt but what else is new).

Then today I talked with a friend who has been out of work since November. He has a mortgage. He has a large, hungry dog. He has a vehicle. Things are tough for him. He worked for the now defunct Hamilton Steel/Stelco. There doesn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel for him. He's looking for anything to help pay his way.

So now I have a personal connection to the sadness being caused by this recession. And the longer primary producers like my friend stay out of work the more the foundation of the economy will crumble for those knowledge sector folks above them. You can't eat knowledge and you can't drive knowledge after all. Though so many people produce it, from professors to bureaucrats to bloggers (yes even me).

Might be a good time to start being a primary producer even if that means just growing a small garden.

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In other news in our small attempt to prop up the global economy (all hail), today and yesterday we borrowed a truck that a local dealer had found for us. It was a 2003 Mazda B3000. It was pretty nice, really exactly what we were looking for but thankfully we were subjected to carrying a full load of people and bags without a box cover. It was a pretty clear lesson. So we decided that the truck was in the end a crazy idea. It would be useful, sure but really how much would we use it to haul stuff? And I'm not sure how much mum wants to be cramped in the back and climbing in and out and how much I want to subject her to that.

So we're thinking of getting a hitch and trailer to be pulled by a spirited little car like a Toyota Corolla. Corollas are so amazingly good on gas it's unbelievable. 5.3 litres per 100 kilometres on the highway. That's $5 to go 100 kilometres. And if we needed the trailer we could hook it up quickly enough. So sanity prevails for another day.

But is driving sane?

Boy, I've really changed a lot since last year, haven't I? I spend ages online reading about vehicles and towing capacity and fuel efficiency. Am I being sucked back in to the consumer life? I think I've never really gotten out. I've just changed what I'm buying. No more meals at B+T or cases of beer and bottles of wine and thrift store shopping. Now it's house insurance, lumber and used vehicles. I must be spending more as Rural Oom but maybe on balance I'm not.

But it has been a shift. To, really for all intents and purposes, owning a house and owning a vehicle from renting and biking. It's a lot to think about and worry about. I'm also stuck here in lots of ways tied to the land. I think I'm coping.